BY KRISTIN GULOTTA
Please proceed, Governor.
--Barack Obama
Gentlemen, come on and spread the wealth.
Pass those bills and then we’ll pass around
our binders full of women on the shelf.
Qualified belles all in the best of health –
if you’re flexible, they’re ready to astound.
Gentlemen, come on and spread the wealth.
No need to go out searching for yourself.
We’ve placed only the best that can be found
in binders full of women on the shelf.
Check out single moms: Hot Single MILFs –
full-color centerfold and leather bound.
Gentlemen, come on and spread the wealth.
Selected, catalogued, and stacked with stealth.
Collect them all – no fear they’ll make a sound
(we binded all the women on the shelf).
Unwrap them like gifts from the Jolly Elf,
pages full of freckled, fair, and browned.
Gentlemen, come on and spread the wealth:
core binders full of women on the shelf.
Kristin Gulotta is a Creative Writing major at UW-Madison, where she is also on staff with the Madison Review.