BY JOEL PATTON
Hi, I'm Joel Patton. You might remember me from such blogs as this one, when it was hosted at PANK [1].
In this column, I'll discuss etymology, writing, grammar, the Scunthorpe problem, birds, culinary terminology [2], dactyls, pterodactyls, polydactyly, polyamory, amour-propre, the Hammer interjection proper, “proper” diction [3], dictionary definitions, split infinitives [4], cleaving together and separately [5], cloven hooves, clefts, treble clefs, double entendres [6], central tendency, tendentiousness, dentition, Titian red, poulets rouges [7], started pullets, starter homes, home screens, screen doors, The Doors' Jim Morrison [8], orison prayer, praying mantes [9], and entomology [10].
I've got a creative writing MFA from a Large Research Institution [11], and I spent some years teaching, but now I make creepy pottery for a living. As you can see, gentle reader, I'm utterly unqualified to discuss most of the above. But I won't let that stop me.
Join me, won't you?
MANTISSAE [12]:
1. An archive is available here, at least for the nonce:http://pankmagazine.com/category/logophily/
2. Much of it involving birds!
3. Almost entirely situational, motherfuckers.
4. Fine.
5. I really like this one.
6. If you catch my drift....
7. This is the shtick in action: lists, birds, etymology, French words, copious footnotes, self-reference.
8. Discussed at length by Apollonia Fox over at Hobart.
9. I also really like these recherché plurals, as well as calling recherché things recherché.
10. And so the circle is complete.
11. Since terminated. (Not my fault.)
12. See Footnote 9, though the similarity of mantis and mantissae is a coincidence.